It's this weird kinda warm weather we got here. Was just out a few minutes ago, though, it's getting colder again. One of the things I remember someone telling me when I first got to Oberlin in 1986 was that the winters there would be painfully depressing. Not so much because they were bitter or brutal, but because April would come around it would still be snowing.

I'm looking forward to the summer. Or the spring, for that matter. But tonight was an uneasy, charming feeling. Now I'm sitting here at my desk drinking milk and listening to myself type. But tonight could have gone an entirely different place. But that's gotta be true of any night, or any day.

I left the office around 9:30. Crossing 6th Avenue, I realized I didn't have enough change for the bus. So I was rifling around my coat pockets looking for a couple of dollar bills which I knew were in there somewhere.

Crossing 52nd Street, I saw a woman walking a few feet ahead of me. I was walking pretty briskly, but she seemed to be walking at a pretty careful pace. Careful for what reason I did not know, but a strange sense of awareness surrounded her, and this was before I even saw her face, or could tell for certain that it was a woman and not a man wearing sharp earrings, tight leater pants and an extravagent leather coat.

As I passed her she turned to me and whispered "Hi. What's your name?" And I smiled, blushed like a beet and said nothing, just kept walking until she was several yards behind me.

Sometimes, I think 6th Avenue could suck me all over; other times it could barf me up to the sky.

I had pretty much outdistanced her pace, mildly thinking to myself that she seemed awfully, awfully sweet, and how much would it cost and how much did I have...

Then I was irritated to discover that I'd left my wallet back at the office. Quickly glancing ahead at my weekend, I knew I would not be back at the office until Tuesday, and I really would need some of my credit cards, so I simply had to go back, even if it meant turning around and seeing her again, and even if it meant turning around and letting her see me fumble for my wallet with a look of genuine, but seemingly feigned durress.

I turned around, and there she was, much closer behind me than I had thought. She looked right at me and said "Where're you goin'? Are you lost?" Part of me was thinking that she exuded an unlikely feeling of trustworthiness about her; another part of me was thinking "$500, and for what..." But the better part of me just walked away from it, and in fact I walked right out onto 6th Avenue, ignoring the traffic and just crossing wherever the hell I felt like crossing the street.

She followed me out there. I ran to get out of the street, and found myself in front of the New York Hilton, surrounded by angry-looking rich people, glowing stretch limousines and the stink of their exhaust fumes. And she grabbed my jacket, saying "Hey, are you lost?"

I said "No. I gotta go back to the office."

"Where's that?"

I just smiled and did not answer. I had stopped walking, and we stood in front of the hotel, looking like two people who knew each other, but not finding anything to talk about. There were several seconds of silence, and she stood in front of me swaying very slightly, and smiling like the happiest damn person in the world.

Her glistening black leather jacket matched the tone of her skin almost perfectly, and when she opened her mouth slightly, preparing to say something, I could see all her teeth right down to the back of her mouth, and there came back that part of me thinking "$500, but for what...?" and then the better part of me coming forward and saying "ummm, I don't wanna waste your time. All right?" We both smiled, looking more and more like the best of friends, and I turned back, walking back toward 51st Street. This time, she didn't follow me, and I did not see her again.

I know a lot of guys who've seen hookers and prostitutes. One guy made this big trip to Toronto just so he could do it legally. Ended up costing him $3,000 altogether. And for what...

Another friend, Jim, told me the hooker story, though, to end all hooker stories that I might ever want to hear.

He said that 25 or 30 years ago, when he was in his early 20's, he knew this guy named Jack who kept bugging him and his other friends to come with him down to 14th Street. The deal was that a woman walked the walk down there giving $10 blowjobs to whoever drove up; she was so great, Jack said, that guys would park their cars in line and wait their turn for hours. She just went from car to car, "You don't even have to get out of your seat, man!"

Jim was never interested, and neither was anyone else he knew, but finally this guy Jack managed to get Jim and 2 other guys to go down there with him.

It was Jim's car, but Jack drove, while Jim and the other 2 sat in the back. The car cruised around 14th Street around alphabet city until they found the line of cars. Jack seemed aware that this line of cars was in a different place every night, supposedly so as to avoid the cops, but Jim said there were cops all over the place, and that everyone out there seemed to know what was going on.

After a few uncomfortable minutes of silence, the car ahead of them moved forward, and Jack moved their car ahead. When they did, they saw The Woman walk up to the car in front of them. She was gigantic, a glad, ruddy black woman with a big fat ass. Jim and his friends watched as she dipped her head through the driver's window and her whole body (and the car) rocked and squeaked in a vigorous to and fro motion. She was performing oral sex on the man in the drivers seat, whose silhouette could be seen grasping the headrest of the passenger seat to his side.

After several moments the shaking stopped, and after a pause of a few seconds she withdrew her head from the car window and made a pffffffffttt noise with her tongue, hocking up the Jack's lode and spitting it into a heavy mist and onto the street.

Jim and his friends watched in horror as she marched over to their car. She was still wiping the fluid from her mouth and spitting when she reached their car. Jack said "This is it, guys, c'mon, gimme ten bucks." He didn't have to unzip his fly, as he'd been openly nursing a hard-on this whole time.

Jack handed her the $10 bill, and she rammed her huge head and torso through the open window, ripping into him with a snarling sound. Jack assumed the same posture as the guy in the other car, grasping the headrest of the passenger seat until The Woman's mission had been accomplished. The car shook vigorously, then there was another few seconds of stillness, and she pulled her head back outside and spit the jizz all over the street.

Jim and his friends were literally screaming, like this was an attack by some crazed monster.

The woman heard their screams and thrust her huge head back through the drivers side window, pushing Jack's spent torso aside so she could face the boys in the back.

Jack's cum poured from her lips and she wiped her mouth with her hand yelling "You boys want some?"

They all screamed "Noooooooooooo!!!!!"

She said "Who's next?" her words garbled through the clutter of all that jizz.

They just kept shouting "Nooooooo!!!" She laughed a big, wide grin, in which Jim said he saw very few teeth but a lot of goo, and then she left.