its funny, once i was 
frying some shirts (this 
was like 18 years ago) 
and someone called but 
i was making clothes 
so i let the answering 
machine take it -- well,
next thing i knew was this 
whole romance going with 
an obsolete remote control 
device she bought me 
on coney island -- that 
thing somehow knew how 
to control libraries  
(if you catch me smoking). 

can't remember what led 
to what, but the place was 
in stitches, we were 
laughing so hard i lost a 
lung. dont misunderstand 
me, though, i was always 
really happy to welcome 
reporters and cartoonists, 
but without fail the questions 
focused on charlie brown and 
raisin theosophy; all the 
brainy ones demanded hands-on 
demonstrations, so i had to 
learn a little about splitting 
coconuts and shuffling photographs. 
and flipping coins. 

we sold some hot garbage, 
i agree with you there. you 
remember when the queen 
sprained her wrist, right? you 
know she did such fabulous 
work hoeing all those cemeteries 
and autographing all my subpoenas. 

ha! yeah, she referred to it as 
"rhabdomancy." i really miss her. 
i saw her in a clip-art collection 
i got a few weeks ago. maybe 
when i'm gone she and i can be 
together in a piece of clip-art.