here in bayside queens..... watching KISS concert and you!

taking off my black makeup, getting ready to watch friday the 13th part two. happy halloween, all.

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Getting ready to end the "relationship" I'm in. He's a great guy and all, but you know, no sparks... no bells and whistles... he's quite negative... I need postive thinking people not gloom and doom naysayers.

I'm trying to work up the courage to tell him. I fear instead of confronting him in person I'll end up sending a Dear John letter.

Also quite confused. I always figured it would be me being dumped. I think what has happened is he has fallen in love with me and I have fallen in love with his love for me. But not him. He talks about wanting the relationship to be more than physical. Yet when I've tried to plan an eveing of hanging out, e.g., a movie, or a walk, it always ends up in a heavy groping session, which leads to you know what. Which isn't necissarily bad, but I want there to be more than that. And I can't seem to get him to understand.

Is any of this making sense? Another thing is this relationship really started taking off while I am in the midst of this political campaign. He will not understand I must devote my energies to this right now. Perhaps I should wait and see how we are after hecticness ends 11/4. But if it's not a good relationshp under pressure, *sigh*

Can anyone offer insights... suggestions?

I know he is not "the one." But I would like to remain friends. Is that too cliched?

Will I ever cease writing this thread?

Oh... and Mr. PetRock... PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE apologize to Dawn for me. PLEASE. You know how AOL deletes emails after a certain number of days right? Well, the email from you with Dawn's number is gone. And the election is Tuesday. Thank her for her constant trying, and tell her if she gives me her address I'll send her a campaign surprise. I feel like a common slug for not getting in touch with Dawn. Ask her to call me in the morning, will you? The number can be found on the website.

Ok folks.... my rambling is done.

I shall now go to sleep thinking of Natebabe's dreamy eyes.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

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Jeez, Jimbo -- it's only been, what -- 3 wks? If you guys started knockin' boots too early/put the brakes on that aspect. But don't just chuck the guy without taking time (at least 3 mos.) to really get to know him. I mean, c'mon -- you've been trying to meet someone nice for the longest!

Is he behaving inappropriately -- i.e. trying to monopolize all yr time/calling too often/stopping by w/out calling 1st? Well then/have a little chat abt that. But on the flip side/if you are mad-busy becuz of this campaign/then maybe you haven't been giving the realtionship the time that it needs to grow. But that will all be over in another week. My suggestion is not to make any rash decisions until the campaign is over & you've had a chance to spend some real facetime (vs. sucking face time) together & reevaluate things in another couple of weeks.

People are so quick nowadays to walk away from a newly- developing realtionship becuz everything isn't storybook perfect from Day One. (One doesn't have the right to do that until one is over 35/like me!) But if you hopped into the sack before you had a chance to really get to know each other/ you're under no obligation to continue having sex with him if that's not what you want. Just tell him so. And if he won't accept that/THEN tell him where ta go!

Uh-huh...what Girlfriend R.C. said!!!!!

preparing to perform ablutions and go to school. i dyed my hair pink last night. cleo is sorting through her halloween candy one at a time and pretending to take a bite out of each one. i really have to get out of here.

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wishing my parents a
Happy 35th Anniversary.

Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad.

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the breeder refunded me for the bird. i used it as credit to buy a plum head parakeet.

i have this fear of finding him dead, though. i can't shake it.

today we spent hours in meetings that had no relevance to what i do in this company.

plus, i found that 30% of my team is leaving.

trying to contemplate my existence... wasting hours of company time on sites like this. why do I find this more interesting than my job?

there must be a good porn site out there...

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Drinking spiced cider and thinking: I need a shower. This is what college does to a person. It makes one dirty.

Thanking RC and Danipoo.

I will do that.

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Wanting to see a picture of Nate's plum head parakeet (never hearda one of those!). Being glad that he's got himself a new bird. And signing off for the nite.

Say g'nite Six.

(as she flicks her tail & winds herself around my ankles. Six says g'nite. She's not very vocal -- but she purrs big time!)

Doin' the morning coffee thing and listening to the news. Another cold front is coming this way with night temps going down to 50 degrees towards the end of the week. Great sleeping weather that will be. Going to Clearwater now to do breakfast with a girl I used to work with for her birthday today.

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sitting here drinking coffee.. and reading all those posts. .. Feelin' a little better.. but.. still overwhelming sadness is sitting on my shoulder..waiting to take over.

I'm starting college tonight.. takin' a Vbasic programming course.. I'm kinda excited.

Missin' her lezbo lovergirl.. and family (Kimmiegurl and Richbabe)...

All da love..

Siren

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in disbelief that the uneducated masses in DC voted an outsider for our new Mayor. I am just completely at a loss for words. For 4 months all I have done is live and breathe this campaign so that this city could become a better place. I just hope these fucking assholes get what they asked for.

This truly is one of the saddest days of my life.

But I gotta give it to my girl Carol. She's got more class than a school. GO CAROL! We tried to "Bring It Home!"

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catching up....(ok, I know, I know -- these are old but hey, I have to get my smartass comments in, don't I?)

1. Dani and Siren AREN'T lesbians??? Damn! There goes the last shred of hope for any lingering str8ness that might have been buried deep inside me.

2. Hey, Nate, *nudge nudge* I hear R.C. wants to see a pic of your plum head. hee hee....oh, this is so juvenile.

3. Don't quit that relationship too early Jimbo....like R.C. said, she just wants to see a pic of your plum head.

Oh, wait....nevermind. I'm confused....

4. And, uhmmm....oh yeah, sorry Jim. Even though he is an outsider, maybe DC voters felt that an outsider would do a better job of digging the city out of the hole that Mr. Barry et.al has dug for it. And Dawn did get a call finally and volunteered at her polling place on election morning. So thanks....

Peteypoo...

The joke is Williams is not going to ask any of the Barry appointees to leave. So what's going to change?

And thanks for the tip on the relationship too.

It's times last night when I was just miserable and heartsick I could sure have used a shoulder for support.

Now.... what's this with the Plum Head? *g*

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In that case...

Hi, my name is Dani and I'm a lezbo...

Cum get me now Petey!!!!!

If thats the only way to finally get you then I guess I'll lie!!

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tired and trying to figure out how to scam a holiday out of next year's new york bookfair. d'you think it would be too much to ask my boss for a return flight two weeks later than everyone else?

glad about the bird business nate.

glad King's X was only the freight terminal, but i'm still thiking about all the accidents that happen down there. statistically, one day, it will be me.

named the bird Kaya. Kaya likes apples and pears a lot. I bought him a playpen, so he can kick it with the family unit but not need to be held (though he prefers being held.)

Will chll on the shoulder indefinately.

trying to teach him to say dirty things.

follow the link for pics:

http://www.arndt-verlag.com/projekt/birds_3.cgi?Desc=E194.htm&Pic=194_1.JPG&Search=plum&Lang=eng

better pic of a male.

http://instruct1.cit.cornell.edu/courses/ansc215/img0011.jpg

confused, but hey, I'm always confused. You have a very beautiful bird, nate.
Feeling random again.
I'm way behind, I know, but I am having a similar problem to Jim's. I don't feel like I belong in the relationship I'm in. The physicalness is starting to scare me off. Naturally, I enjoy it at the time, but when I'm away from her by 400 miles or whatever it is, I have a hard time figuring out what our relationship is made of. She loves me very much, but there seems to be little beyond our physical relationship. I feel like crap for feeling this way, but I also feel like crap being in what is starting to feel like a very shallow relationship. I need to make a decision by Thanksgiving vacation. That's when I'll see her next.

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Finally finished hooking up to my new ISP...glad I was able to keep most of my old e-mail address.
We're getting the leftovers of Mitch today and tomorrow so its real cool weather and very rainy. Just waitin' for the winds they say are comin' tonight. Slept all day today while it rained...fell asleep to the sound of the rain hitting the window. Love that.

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I feel like a whiney butt. I'm going to drown myself in rediculous amounts of caffeine (drug of choice) and be chemically happy for a while.

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Wondering why I can't find a guy as handsome as that plum-headed parakeet! And giving a shoutout to Pete, ya fool! Welcome Back.

Telling Joann to try booking an author interview during the week BEFORE the bookfair. Then you tell yr boss you've got friends you can stay with w/in NY -- thus eliminating the hotel cost. So of course he or she will be happy
to give you 2 wks. away from the office instead of 1/& to fly you in early so you can land a 1st-rate interview.... ;)

(If you haven't any friends to crash w/start looking NOW for a short term apt. rental. They're cheaper & nicer than
the avg. hotel.)

Sympathizing w/T- Bone's growing pains.
And thinking that long-distance love affairs are ill-advised during the college years. I only know of one that worked out from my university days. (She was his h.s. sweetheart/& a year younger. But she stayed in the South to go to college/while he went to Boston. They basically broke up for his last 2 yrs. of undergrad. But he did marry her during med.
school.) Trust yr heart, Bone. If she were really the one for you/you wdn't be so ambivalent & uncertain... But don't delay the inevitable -- if you want out/tell her ASAP. Trust me -- there's NOTHING worse than meeting up w/yr S.O. during a school holiday/only to end up getting dumped.

Hoping everyone went out & VOTED yesterday.

(Basically minding everone's business on the WAYD board/as usual.)

letting R.C. know she knows of two. I maintained a 3 year long LDR, and now that we are back in the same vicinity things are better than ever.

TBone- this isn't to say that there aren't other problems with your relationship (i don't know the details,) but i can say that what you are feeling is natural (at least from my experience.) Distance puts your psyche through the blender, and doubts are a common side effect.

Write me if you want to bounce anything off someone who has 'gone before' on this path.

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Telling Nate that he shd write a book on the subject. No, for real! If guys like that "Men Are from Mars" author can make a fortune teaching people how to love each other better/you shd take a swing at showing folks who are already in love how to make a LLD work. Lord knows/ that's probably the one 'advice book' topic that hasn't been covered!

And telling T-Bone to hang in there!
Freshman year is always abt misc. Trials & Tribulations. But Thanksgiving will soon be here. You can go home/pig out/argue w/yr family & remember all the reasons you chose to go AWAY to college/then party w/yr old h.s. pals you haven't seen since the summer. (And how's that math class going?)

I think I need to end this particular relationship. It makes me sad, but I feel better having all but completely made up my mind. We are from completely different worlds. I'm her first "straight" as in drug-free boyfriend she's ever had. I'm also the first to never cheat on her. This makes me feel good in a way, but at the same time, I feel like that's the only reason. I don't wanna be the first nice guy, I want to be loved because of who I am, not because I'm not all the bad things. It's like car shopping and getting the first car that's not ugly. I want to be chosen because of what I am, not what I'm not.
She has begun making changes for me. She is changing who she is so that I will like her more. I don't want her to have to do that.
Finally, I'm worried that she sees me as the perfect father for her son. I feel like that's why she chose me. Granted, I get along with him and all that... But I'm 18. I don't want to be a father.
There are so many reasons...
Her mother meant well when she said, "You'r her first boyfriend that wasn't a stupid failure."
I want to be smart and successful.

*flash* My mother also spent the last 4 years telling me what I'm not. Lord, that's scary.

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Oh,and my math class is fine. I'm bored as hell and it's too late to get a book, but I have the magical 'A'.

Am I wrong for how I feel? She can tell that something is up when I talk to her. I can tell she has very stong feelings for me. She likes me a whole lot. I hate hurting people.

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Telling T-bone that hurting people comes more easily for some people than others. Be glad you have a heart, it's a very nice feature for a man to have. You'll know what the right thing to do is soon enough and when you do know, I'm sure you'll act appropriatly.

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leaving work today for a holiday. huzzah. still confused about this whole US trip, esp. since my friend said "come visit me in california and look at the desert". or something.

pitchin in to the t-bone dilemma - same advice i gave my friend a year ago - you may feel like a shit but you're not one, tho you would be if you kept something going that you know in your heart to be wrong, and you know that in the end being honest can hurt less. no, really, it can...

obviously just blethering on uselessly

finding out what it's like to spend time at home again. And realizing what a mess my bedroom is. EGAD!

Since the campaign is over and we have til 11/15 to clear out of headquarters, our hours are now only 12-5 Mon-Sat and CLOSED on Sun. YAY!

So if I get a new mouse tomorrow as anticpated, I will be BACK on the boards AGAIN!!!

WooooHOOOooooOOOoooOOoooooo!!!

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i was in a LDR for a year. when he finally moved to be with me, we broke up.

i fuck up a lot.

good work to those who can rise to the challenge. it's a long, confusing road.

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winding down.. the cats are fed, the baby's in bed, and the evening is warm and lovely and quiet... i love nights like this....

I am chillin down in Hoboken Nj with nothing to do but homework...but who needs that when you can browse someones private bedroom cams!� what a great idea....cheers to yas all......from Greg in NJ

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The decision has been made. I feel better having made it. I still fear implementation, however. It will be hard. But it can't continue this way.

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Listening to Pink Floyd, and thinking "I'm too far away from home to be listening to Pink Floyd." It was a bad idea, I think. When I'm not listening to it I always remember how much I like it and forget how much it depresses me.
Also thinking it's time for sleep.

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Just getting home. Every Saturday morning Kim and I go down to the beach and do coffee at this Cafe/Marina place on the water. We get there at about 7:30am and watch the fishing boats go out into the bay and come back in. Then we walk along the beach for a while and come home. It's a really nice way to start a day. A little chilly this morning- we actually wore jackets till it warmed up at around 10am. Time to hit the mall for some jeans then a haircut.

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Wondering if me and Danipoo aren't truly on the same wavelength. We were probably, at the same exact time, thousands of miles apart, getting out hair shorn. She, though probably didn't get as much lopped off as I did. If I get a pic taken I will scan it and let you all see. This is the shortest my hair's been since it originally grew in.

OK. Update on the relationship thing. We made plans to rent a movie last night. We have completely different tatses in movies. I like the schmaltzy, serious stuff and comedies. He likes Horror and Sci-Fi.

So we decided to just watch TV. I bought microwave popcorn, a big candy bar, sour candies, and cream sodas. We watched TV, chatted, played footsie, etc, etc, *AHEM*

I haven't talked with him about my concerns yet, as I'm nervous about upsetting him. I just don't see where we have anything in commmon, ANYTHING. There has got to be more than BADA BOOM BADA BING in my book. We can't even sleep in the same room. My snoring drives him wild.

Anyhoo... that's the latest on that front.

Oh and on the jobfront since Campaign 98 is quickly wrapping up, I might pursue a job in the offices of the relected city councilmember David Catania. Oh... and speaking of politics... DING DONG NEWT GINGRICH'S HISTORY!!!!

WAHOOOOOOOO-EY!

Sorry for that unsolicited outburst!

But when Gingybaby and Lauch Faircloth become lesser threats, I think a great big WAHOOOOEY is more than merited.

*grin*

Wow. Am I like rambling or what? Hmmmm? *sings* Rambling Rose... *stops singing* no wait... Nat King Cole I ain't. LOL

I gotta stop eating this damn candy bar.

Ugh.

Now I'm full as a tick.

:-)

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Listening to Pink Floyd as well. Have not yet got ahold of her.. this is getting frustrating and making me really nervous.
Speaking of a haircut... I am getting shaggy to the extreme...

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...and missing storm in Weirdochat by mere seconds...

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Not a short hair kinda person Jimbabe! Just a little trim and a few more highlights. I did the never-thought-I-would-ever-do hair thing about 2 months ago and got me a body wave and went mostly blonde. I do get a little daring and brave at times!
You remind me of my friend Beverly Jimbabe...give her a some candy and she has the most awesome sugar rush!! Every time her and I get together I always make sure I feed her some chocolate so I can laugh my ass off at her as she gets really hyper. I aint a candy person (thank God) so I dont know anything about those kinda rushes.
You need to get your ass back on ICQ Jimbabe so we can catch up!

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trying not to think about what he is doing.
it isn't working.
hoping that tonight will be as eventful as my horoscope says. Thinking of al the beautiful men i know, and feeling like a man dying fron dehydration in the ocean.

life can be a cruel joke sometimes.

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Admiring the bright red blanket on Mark's Bedcam. I've always wanted soemthing bright red. I have a red terrycloth robe/ but it's way faded. (Still comfy, tho'.)

Fixin'tago to the store. Soon as I figure out what to make for dinner.

And wondering if I shd try taking Six in the car w/me to the store. She's never been for a ride in the car outside of trips to the vet in the cat carrier. Somehow I suspect she'll be having none of it. But maybe I'll try it...

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