Where are the Paladin Tapes?

writing a little message from Agatha Frye's Pies that I assume is going to be transported to Sorabji via the litte portal left here by Mark Thomas.

magical.

Grumbling. Does anyone have any suggestions for finding some privacy in a dorm situation?

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suggestions for finding privacy in dorm situations:

1. profuse masturbation
2. extreme flatulance
3. demonic worship
4. argue with inanimate objects
5. excessive drug use
6. stream of thought babble (constant)
7. poor personal hygene
8. invisable friends
9. nocturnal screaming fits
10. admission of sexual lust

no i DON'T want any COCONUT flavored wafers, ALRIGHT??!!

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I'm considering the Slowly-poison-your-roommate-and-make-it-look-like-suicide approach. Or maybe I'll drill a hole in his head as he sleeps.

Well, I could always try arguing with inanimate objects... Or better yet, the constant babble... I already talk in my sleep.

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Thinking about T-bone, my long lost bastard child. Writing a note to him, and giving motherly advice. In its entirety:

Dear Son,

Oh my goodness! You talk in your sleep too? My husband says that I talk in my sleep, and I always say one thing: I ask "do you have a crush on me?" Peter always avoids answering the question by his own report, since he is never sure that I am
actually talking to him or my fictional lover Raul. Scary stuff---I can handle the thought of babbling, but coherent sentences? Yikes! Imagine if I told my own secrets in my sleep!

Oh yes, the room mate trouble---poison is always good. Does he make chicken? You could always drain the chicken blood from a thawed breast, then use the liquid
as a baste. As for less extreme measures---start to develop an interest in
performance art. Keep power tools nearby for your "art". (Wait--you do that already, don't you?)

Sleep with a baseball bat instead of a teddy bear. Hold seances, and try to conjure up the roomies spirit (try to do it when he is IN the room). Join the Hare Krishnas
and hold meetings in your dorm. Join a BDSM club on campus. Better yet--start
one!

Love,

Mommy

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Trying to get AOL to work at the office. This TCP/IP thing is MOST confusing.

Can anyone help me?

The net connection here is through a LAN, or Local Area Network. When I talked to AOL they told me all I had to do was reconfigure the setup to read TCP/IP in the network field. Yet when I attempt to log into AOL I get the following message:

"(TCP/IP) Unable to resolve host address [AmericaOnline.aol.com] through Domain Name Server."

Argh!

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RTFM

i got book idea today.

i rite book.

teletubies

laughing at jim - sorry - but it's funny, and aol are a bunch of arses. besides i've been trying to buy a peice of software all day and this seems to be impossible for some unknown reason. also the mail server has been down all day - my god - a whole day at work without email.

i'm crushed that it makes such a difference

missed the first bus because i didn't wake up. missed the second bus because cleo refused to wake up and was moaning on the couch. missed the third bus because i couldn't find cleo's goddamn rubber boots. i am now one and one half hours late for a three hour class. fuck fuck fuck.

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back at work.

After one day off due to an extremely hoarse voice.

And now I'm gonna pay for my sick day. Boy, are we behind.....massively backed up.

Ohhhh -- well. *shrugs* Don't worry about it. Just repeat after me:

"ILOVEMYJOBILOVEMYJOBILOVEMYJOBILOVEMYJOBILOVEMYJOBILOVEMYJOBILOVEMYJOB"

Repeat until I actually beging to believe it.

Wishing I'd found that ticket/so I cd send Agatha some $$ to buy her self a hoopdee. Seriously girl -- forget the bus. Scrape together a few hunnert bucks & get yrself a car. School's not far from yr house/right? Anything that runs & doesn't have holes in the floor panel will do.
My girl Cheryl bought a car for $600 just before I left NY to move here. That was 3 yrs. ago/& it lasted longer & ran better than any car she's ever owned. It was still running up until 2 mos.ago/when her sister wrecked it.

R.C. says hoopdee's rule! And little kids love to ride in beat-up cars w/only one door that opens/or a rear seat panels that falls open to reveal the contents of yr trunk whenever you hit a bump. Hoopdees were created for kids to ride in!

R.C. is also admiring the long-awaited new improvements to Jim's site. And shocked at how cute Nate is! :)
Oh, to be 20 again...

(...wd send me screaming off the edge of a cliff!)

I've got 6 mos. to find thaty lottery ticket...

awww, you sure are sweet, rc. i was just watching the memorial service for john stanford, the seattle public school superintendant who just died of cancer this week. i got all weepy. he was a truly excellent human being.

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just returned from a walk outside.

The moon is so bright that its light, coming through the trees, makes patches leaves on the ground look like new snow had fallen on 'em.

No wonder I have been behaving in such a dreamy, uncontrollable fashion today.

having another disaster of a day already, but promising not to take it out on others with maniacal laughter ...

still, the mail's fixed

writing a mess of letters.

Wondering if I should buy a Christmas tree. The needles last year were a royal pain in the arse.

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at work; again; seems like always.......I'm also trying to get into the message boards, but it keeps saying host is unreachable.....Why ?....I don't like that. Not one bit ! Oh, well............
Get with the Christmas Spirit, PJ, and buy a tree......It's only once a year !!

not feeling very festive. forget about the mail, it broke. i'm alone again. dammit.

staying late at work to decorate the tree.

thinking that now that I've fulfilled my wish to see NYC at Christmastime (last year.. and next weekend!!!) I think it would be most enjoyable to see London at Christmas. I think that would be marvelous. Would put me right in mind of Dickens' "A Christmas Carol," which is one of my all time fave books.

Ok... poll time... what is the best film adaptation of this story?

For me it's a tie. Alistair Sim's version and The Muppet Christmas Carol. Both are fun. Oh, and George C. Scott's wasn't too bad.

Scrooged with Bill Murray was horrible.

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Thinking about weather or not I have the patience to go back to the mall again today and do some more Christmas shopping. Trying to just get on the fuckin' highway without some 90 year old man/woman smashing into me is a huge chore...let alone trying to get a parking space at Gulfview Square Mall and fighting the crowds and the huge lines. Christmas spirit aint very big this year. So much to do and so much damn aggravation. Cant wait till it's over with.

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thinking about how this'll be an internet christmas..online catalogs, here i come...

and..everyone i've talked to isn't looking forward to christmas..i suppose we do it for the kids..
buti don't know any kids..so i guess that means
i don't qualify to participate..

yippy

sitting here eating McDonald's wondering where in the world her drink went so she can was this taste out of her mouth???????

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Calculating the mass of Jupiter.

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http://kodiak.billings.k12.mt.us

I vote for the Muppet Version. I also liked the Mickey Mouse one.

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Wishing I was at home, instead of at work....Maybe not at home....somewhere else...Hawaii ??.....Actually, PJ, England sounds really nice, right now...Let's go !! Oh, and I really liked George C. Scott-count that as MY vote...Almost time to go...See ya' !!

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wondering what danipoo is gonna bake... I mean buy me for Xmas.

*g*

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Gonna take a wild guess Jimbabe...could the first word start with a C and second word start with a M?? If thats correct, whats my prize?
I'm off for some Vitamin C now. Does a body good.

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Can someone recommend to me a host for a domain that will be dormant for at least 6 months? All i need is a dns number, I don't actually need services at this time.

Help!

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Telling Danipoo that she's right and her prize is........
.
.
.
.
.
SHE GETS TO BAKE ME THE FREAKING MUFFFINS!!!

*G*

working in olde worlde london - the alley is a narrow lane of second hand book shops, with old gas lamposts at either end. At christmas they turn on the coloured strings of lights that run along each side of the street. everyone has done their window now, and in the cold, crisp air, when it starts to get dark at 3, you could be forgiven for forgetting that you're just two minutes walk from the clatter of leicester square and the seedy life of soho.

Fascinated by the seedy life of Soho.

Please regale us with the stories, Joanne.

No peculiarity is too small.

Three weeks until Christmas. *sigh* This is usually my favorite time of year. But I have no $$ for gift buying this year. And my mother doesn't want me decorating for Christmas. But I'm gonna do it anyway. Gotta have it!

I brought out my cache of Christmas CDs last night and began with nt two favorites, Natalie Cole's "Holly & Ivy," and Lorrie Morgan's "Merry Christmas From London." Natalie's "Jingle Bells," and Lorrie's "Ave Maria" are out of this world. Oh and what Christmas music collection would be complete without the three "A Very Special Christmas" albums? The first of the series, the red album, is the best. Follwed in order by number two, the green album, and number three, the gold album. All have stellar recordings on them, but #1 is chock full of delights. Among them, Sting's "The Angel Gabriel," and Whitney Houston's "Do You Hear What I Hear." My objective this Christmas is to get a recording of Bing Crosby & David Bowie's classic "Little Drummer Boy." Plus, no money or not, I have to buy atleast one new Christmas CD. But I don't know much about what's out there other than Celine's album. Any ideas folks?

I am now going to wrap up this posting as I don't want to blow sorabji.com's server with the shear volume of this posting. *g*

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http://www.angelfire.com/md/pjayboy/index.html

marveling at the powers of suggestion. I go to lunch today, buy a USA Today, and what did I find?

An article with reviews of this year's new Christmas music.

Nothing especially eyecatching, except maybe "Croon & Swoon, A Classic Christmas," featuring the likes of Tony Bennett, Lena Horne, Angela Lansbury, etc.

I might have to decide bewteen that one, Celine's, Shawn Colvin's, and Cyndi Lauper. But there are alot of compilation ones too. "Ultimate Christmas," with Bing, and Judy, Whitney, Boyz II Men, Elvis, Aretha, Pavarotti, and Carly Simon among others. I fear though I have recordings of some already on that album.

I know I will NOT be buying Donny Osmond's, NSYNC's, Chicago's, or Babyface's.

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NSYNC RULES!

I love DONNY! NO WAIT I LOVE JORDAN!!!!!


XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

pissing myself over nate's posting.

LOL

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You should get the Squirrel Nut Zippers christmas album.

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looking @ you

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sitting by the fire, watching the geese honk with glee as they break through the ice on their pond. it is snowing. tomorrow Victorian Christmas begins down in the village. everyone will be dressed in olde timey costumes, and Flagman will bring me the parade photos.
bah and humbug, i say.

it's my birthday tomorrow. i will be thirty one. (wish me a happy birthday, now)

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Toasting Agatha's birthday with 7 & 7. Sweet, with a delicious kick. Just like you-know-who.

wishing Agatha a Happy Birthday. Ooooh, to be 31 again.

http://members.tripod.com/~RidinBareBack/index.html

happy birthday agatha!

can't talk now, i'm headed downtown to help kick off tomorrow's AGATHA'S 131st BIRTHDAY JAMBOREE and PARADE and there'll be SPEECHES and FORNICATING and WINE and SCRABBLE and HANGMAN and

i hope you have permission from the Parade Guy. else you know what will happen.

agatha's b-day festivities could be jinxed, could end up on the evening news, could get you in big fat trouble. and we would never want that to happen to agatha because we love her.

Wishing a very happy birthday to Agatha!! Have a great day girl!!!

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I'm sitting here at the computer. What else would I be doing?

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http://www.geocities.com/~sweetkittie

singing, "Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday dear Agatha, Happy Birthday to you!"

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preparing to give a birthday present to a birthday-girl. Happy birthday to Agatha as well. Two birthdays in the same day... I'll be...

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remorseful that i cut my hair without wearing my glasses. but i thought i couldn't do both at the same time. now there are shards of red everywhere, and coincidentaly while i was cutting the eye dr. called and reminded me it's been two years shouldn't i come in? well of course i should but i am afraid of him. perhaps in two years the exam process has improved, and things are becoming fuzzy. i was not blind until i had a computer.

Wishing Agatha a Happy Birfday!

And deciding whether to stay at the computer & write or go in the bedroom & read.

And wondering where's Slacker? Ain't seen hide nor hair of 'im 'round these parts in weeks.

awwww, thanks, everybody. you are all too good. that parade was sure a blast.

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You're welcome, Aggie. Tiara- &-ermine are Definiftely yr look! You had the little wave of the hand thing down pat. Princess Di woulda been proud!

wondering where the birthday cake was yesterday. Dammit.

heh

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wishing Agatha a (late) Happy Birthday.....

and listening to a Starbucks Christmas cd (Hi-Fidelity Holiday...a holiday compilation in stereo) which I purchased because it has the likes of Esquivel, Dean Martin, XTC, and James Brown all together. Right now: The Alarm doing "Happy Christmas (War Is Over") although, correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't Lennon title it "Happy Xmas (War is Over)"?

Moot point now....on to the Temps doing Little Drummer Boy.

Speaking of Little Drummer Boy PJ, I now that version is on cd somewhere bcuz I have it. I just don't remember where it is or what cd it's on....damn. Sorry.

stupid typos....

that's supposed to read "I KNOW....".

*ooh...Peggy Lee doing some funky version of Jingle Bells with a kids chorus.....cool*

True story. Once upon a christmas past, I was drinking in San Francisco, and throughout the evening spent $100 in tips, paying the pianists NOT to play Little Drummer Boy while I was in their bars. The worst one was at the Sea Wolf, he got up and told everyone what I had done.

clarifying: the Sea Wolf is not in SF, it is across the bay in Jack London Square.

listening to jessamine. drinking coffee (as usual). reading a dinosaur book to cleo. getting ready to clean the house and finish a school project (as usual). trying to decide what to do with all of cleo's pictures she has drawn, which are overtaking the house. maybe i will compile them into a book. thinking about caveman kids.

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I'm wandering semi-aimlessly. I just gave up a half-hearted internet search for an elementary-school friend I dreamt of this morning. I'm thinking that my butt is sore and I'm wishing I hadn't crashed while riding my scooter naked on the beach last week. At least we got it on video.

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asking the obvious.

How do we get a copy of that video Chris?

*grin*

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fucking up again.

I had some terrific sex last night with a guy I've adored for a good while. It was about damn time. But I guess I was fooling myself when I imagined it might be more than a one-night stand. It's a pretty textbook case; today, the only thing left is awkwardness. My logic certainly told me to expect it. But for some reason, as I glanced in the reariew mirror to see his growing smaller and smaller as I drove away, i felt weight pour into my chest and i started to cry. I suppose I wan't listening, as usual. I should have learned by now. But I know I will sacrifice friendship and self-worth over and over again for the fleeting smell of bare skin and the warmth of a sleeping figure's breath in my ear. Damn the sunrise.

College is over now. One more final, then goodbye to youth. My friends and I have chanted "I can't wait to graduate" like a mantra for years. I didn't realize until recently that I was lying to myself on that occasion, too.

I know everything will work out. It's just that I've been so happy for the past few months that an evening of depression is actually refreshing and cathartic. I like to twist the knife in my chest on occasion.

plus, my feet stink.

12/7/98, 2:56 AM
TBone is:

Trying to find balance.

I over- or under-do everything.

EVERYTHING.

Not getting much sleep tonight.

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CREEPED OUT.
I got a disturbing card in the mail today. No return address. Postmarked in my city a few days ago. The envelope is addressed to "Ker's". Friends call me Ker, but not Kers. However, my license plates say "Kers Trk"...so this idiot must think my name is Kers. Retard. Inside the envelope is a cheap looking Christmas card. It has a drawing/painting of a pinetree branch covered in snow, and sitting on the branch is a red bird, or cardinal.....something along those lines. Whoever sent this card drew a caption bubble making it look like the bird is talking, inside the caption it says: It's me with a question mark. Inside the cards reads (exactly as it is written):
Hi Kers;
Pls. dont be surprice upon receiving this card. And pls. dont throw it away, instead put this on a place that this bird could always see you. Because this bird represent myself. And I'd like to see you every single minute of a day. You know Kers I'm always thingking of you, co'z you are so beautiful to me. I'm hoping that someday we know its other accidentally or personally. I love you Ker's. Today, tomorrow, and for the rest of my life...again...(big letters) I LOVE YOU!!!
(signed) It's Me (arrow points down to a question mark inside a circle)
I LOVE YOU ...(3x a day)

I can only say this creep better admire from afar....God help him if he approaches me.

http://members.tripod.com/~RidinBareBack/index.html

creeped out by Ridin's card too.

be careful hon!

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hi...im home sick but that doesnt matter cause i just moved and i havent gotten a job yet...so here i try to occupy myself...pixies and hildegard on the cd player, lots tissues and tea...it actually isnt that bad to be unemployed...as long as im not well

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better break down the ol'4 gauge for a good cleanin'.

and i'll check the oil. that'd be a good drive.

Asking Missa if that would be Hildegard von Bingen?

I kind of know one of the nuns that recorded the "Vision - The Music of Hildegard von Bingen."

I think her name is Sister Germaine?

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surprised

I got a tin of popcorn from an acquaintance a few days ago. I've never learned how to pop popcorn the old fashioned way, and I expected the tin to slowly make its way from the counter to the very back of some cupboard, the way unused non-perishable food does.

I am not working this afternoon. Sitting here in my cold house I got a hankering for popcorn. I found a small brown paper bag, dumped some popcorn in it, and stuck it in the microwave just to see what would happen.

It popped up just fine. Apparently the oil inside the kernels are all you really need. It's a little bland; but if I can do nothing else, it's melt butter and shake salt.

Just thought it'd be a handy thing to know.

glass bowl works too.

Wishing the conversations I have with others were as brilliant as the ones I have with myself.

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cringing. Everywhere I look, there's a Dave of some sort.
Too many Daves.

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disappointed. And I thought it was such a nice card Ridin. You didn't like it?

Hmmmm, well maybe next year....I LOVE YOU THREE TIMES MORE TODAY THAN I DID YESTERDAY.

Oops, this birds gotta fly now. Bye bye

ps - new computers at work finally. We've been "upgraded" to Windows 95 at last.

pss - that was a joke Ridin. I think that card sounds a bit creepy myself. Not to sound too alarmist here, but watch yourself....

Havin a little fun at work tonight following up on the latest e-mail from HELL.COM. Didn't mean to trespass, but enjoyed being a voyer of sorts..... where are you from?

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http://home1.gte.net/allensp

Laughing out loud at Pete!

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Checking out this great site instead of working.....

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Welcoming Judi to sorabji.com on behalf of many of it's wacky inhabitants, or Sorbjiites as we're more commmonly known.

:-)

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coughing up lung-butter.

Not at all pleasant. I find it interesting that after recognizing that I take things to far and deciding to slow down and settle... I do it again. I'm so pathetic. I think it's the whole spine-free problem.

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suddenly craving some lung-butter for my toast tomorrow morning.

that is truly revolting. my cat has a growth on his mouth, speaking of revolting. it is really repellant, yet fascinating. now i will be thinking about the growth and lung butter all day long. thanks a fuckin lot, guys.

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agatha, go on netvet and research this. those mouth growth things can be life threatening to cats.

being really annoying to my dorm. I'm playing my ashiko really damn loudly with my door open. Next week we go into 23 hour quiet hours... meaning we get to be noisy for one hour a day. Jeez.

But I suppose some people do study for finals.
Am I the only one who can get A's on the test by just listening to the prof during class?

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Lung Butter?

Ewwwwwwww.

Great description though!

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Im sitting here with my left hand up to my mouth while using my other hand to type this. Im staring at the computor screen while wondering what to type next. Ill type nothing.

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http://members.wbs.net/homepages/m/a/g/magikalpixie.html

tired (as usual) and craving a cigarette.

looking at the nice calendar my local curry house (the best in town) sent with my supper.

half-watching highlander (the first movie) on tv.

(belatedly) wishing agatha happy returns.

smacking myself on the forehead.

how could i have missed Agatha's birthday!? bad Sorabjiite. no fornication.


(happy belated, kelsey)

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Catching up with the online world...although my interest level is about as high as getting hit by a truck.

Wondering how "he" is doing.

Going to bed to get some rest after a really great evening with some friends.

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