Reconciling lost loves and undergoing the neverending search for truth and happiness in those you care about.

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http://welcome.to/themindsattic

Assuring Nelly that if she ever sees me in a faux leopard coat w/zerba striped pumps/she has permission to shoot me.

Thanking her anyway for the kind thought/& wondering if perhaps this Sister wasn't a working girl grabbing a bite to eat between tricks..? (In Bklyn. or Miami or Manhattan, okay -- but a getup like that in yr neck of the woods? A scary thought indeed!))

Hoping it's not too terribly cold where Nelly is/& wishing all the Sorabjites -- & the Bagwhan, His Markenss -- Happy Holidays!

Not sure about that yet, Jimbabe. As it looks now, Mike might end up staying with me for quite some time. Him and Mom aint getting along (Surprise, surprise) and I would love to keep Mike with me and put him in school here. I dont know how Mom and the probabtion department will handle that though. But I am really hoping he can live with me.

Anyway, Merry Christmas everyone!

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is wishing a Merry Christmas to everyone!!!

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echoing Jim's thoughts.

Merry Christmas, Chanukah and Kwanza everyone.

And Happy 1999 as well (let me be the first this time....).

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trying to kill himself with chocolate

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wishing all a merry christmas day.
chocolate suicide is easy. in fact, it's a piece of cake.

Dear Jesus,

Happy Birthday.

Hope all is well up in Heaven. Things are a bit on the wack side here on Earth, but seeing that it's Christmas, i have faith that it will all work out in one way or another. Tell your Dad to come down and visit sometime. Folks are feeling a bit orphaned down here, y'know? Anyway, just wanted to drop a note and say "Hi."

Peace,

-Swine.


oh yeah...

P.S.: i bet if you woulda turned more of that water into wine, those folks back in Jerusalem probably wouldn't of nailed you up on that cross. Just a little food for thought for your next visit.

Take Care.

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Having the suckiest christmas of my life.. and working on the school page.

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http://members.xoom.com/PHS_Band/

Writing and reading news for a radio station in South Africa. Trying to stay awake, since I got here at 5am, and there's not much happening in the world. Still trying to recover from Christmas dinner.

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I'm working, trying desperately to find something to occupy the next 5 hours, since no customers are calling and I've exhausted all my busy work.

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members.home.net/gcatalano

reeling from the strange, unnatural, and unexpected news that i'm gonna be an uncle in '99.

whoa.

things i've learned from this experience:

1. Never answer the phone in the middle of the night.

2. If you do answer the phone in the middle of the night, be sure to be sitting down when you do.

3. After picking yourself off the floor when your brother tells you he's having a baby, the response, "how the hell did THAT happen??!??" is not only inappropriate but downright stupid.

Refer to Lesson #1 in the future.

informing Blindswine that it isn't THAT unnatural.

Well, maybe for some of us it might be....heh.

Congratulations -- you'll enjoy it I'm sure. It's the next best thing to having little rugrats of your own (all the joy, none of the responsibilities).

wishing she wasn't so blind.

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http://altern.org/ephantasm

revelling in *ELECTRICITY*!

the power has been out for five fucking days. five days of frostbite and spoiled milk and kerosene in the back seat and watching the few upped power lines blow a gazillion sparks as new branches fall and snap them in two and and five nights of debauchery drinking and poker and denny's and expired newspapers and glowsticks and bob marley on the 15 year old boombox with the case half broken off and coffee made by holding a mug over a candle and straining grounds through an old t-shirt and abstinence from bathing.

ok, maybe it was pretty fun at times. but now the power is on, and my feet are barefoot because my apartment is hot and the dishes are washing and the bass is pumping and electricity is being HARNESSED and USED TO MEET MY HEDONISTIC NEEDS.

i'm one spoiled goddamn american girl.

12/28/98, 0:11 AM
nelly is:

47

Happy Birthday Nelly. 47 on the 28th of December. did you ever get good presents on your birthday since it is always so close to christmas?

me, i think birthdays are more important anyway.

hope you have a good one!

p.s. by the looks of the front page of sorabji, someone has been unquestionably revealed as the $10,000,000 winner. right?

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laffing at Sarah's $10Mil. Comment. hehe

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eight strokes a hole.

except. of course, the hole where the nice ladies let us play through. par 3 island green put the ball six feet from the pin. seasoned golf pro #1 depth charges tee-off one and two before giving up. seasoned golf dad JC's the ball two-skips and it rolls onto the island.

sure, i three-putted for the boagie, but the ladies had already left.

last eight stroke hole gopher goosed my way down the fairway. used my five-finger-wedge to pitch the ball over the creek and onto the green. 25 feet from the pin, i check my lay and pray just a bit. lock into the center of the world and slide it slightly uphill. the ball obliges and finds it's hole.

golf dad was amazed.

not to shabby for my second time out. 68 isn't a bad score for 18 holes. Of course, we only played 9, but hey... it was only my second time.

my ex-boyfriend was 8 strokes a hole too...

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Remembering....lets see...last year on the 28th of December I was walking to a payphone on E.96th St. to meet someone. How time flies...happy anniversary, Danigirl...

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Gagging upon discovering that my adorable Nate plays GOLF!

GOLF? Golf is sooo Boring! Golf is not a sport! If it doesn't make you sweat/it's not a fucking sport! Just like chess is not a sport. It's a mind-fuck for peopl3 with too much free time & recreational income. Golf is the prestige pastime for members of the 6+ figure income tax- bracket/& the quickest way for noveau-rich Blacks to 'establish' themselves in the eyes of their even-richer White peers. (Not that that matters to you/just a point of fact.) Sure /Tiger Woods makes a fortune at it -- but we all know what kinda 'Brother' he is!

How can it be a sport when you pay other people to carry yr gear?! That's like the shot-putter paying someone else to throw that heavy- ass ball. Or designated hitters in the Majors. Ye gads! What's America coming to?

And you're apparently a novice & actually good at it! Is there no hope?

Nate... I was gonna marry you & take you away from all this... Tie you to the bedposts & make you scream out my name in seven different languages. But you're already in love with Golf! Say it isn't so, babee!

maturing in that social butterfly kind of way.

See the Boards for futher details.

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wondering exactly "what kind of brother" Tiger Woods is...

hoping I can keep my fat trap shut.

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agreeing with R.C. up to (but not including) the last paragraph. And omitting the "adorable" part as well.

But otherwise in agreement.

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SITTTING IN LIBARY

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Trying to look busy at work.

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Trying to learn how to lick my genitals. I saw a dog licking her's once... It was fascinating... until she was hit by a car.

It's hard to see the cars coming with your head buried in your crotch.

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Going home, after a long day of playing on the message boards with my buddy, PJ..........

relaxing at home after an equally fun day playing the boards with Me........ It was completely dead at the office today. No one was there... nothing to do... so... SORABJI!!!

YAY!

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still riding on the rollercoaster that is his relationship.

I find it truly unbelievable. My girlfriend was arriving home tonite after a week with her family so I spent the evening cleaning up the apartment, made her a welcome home card and picked up a heaping helping of sushi (i love the way that sounds) for dinner and before she even makes it upstairs, she screaming at me from the downstairs intercom about something or other. So then I think, "wow, i'll let her scream and then when she gets upstairs and sees all the stuff i've done for her return she'll feel bad and calm down so we can have a nice night. Well, suffice it to say, that didn't happen.

I got yelled at for the rain outside and the fact that I didn't surprise her and pick her up in the airport and the fact she overpacked her suitcase so it was too heavy for her and a million other little things.

This may sound horrible but I think my girlfriend needs to see a therapist or something. We've talked about and she's said that she's wanted to but then sort of puts off going about it. But she's so type A and stressed out all the time that one day she may just spontaneously combust. It seems to me she, for lack of a more eloquent way of putting it, needs to get her shit together a little bit. With or without me I think she would very rarely be a 'happy' person and as much as I care about her it gets to be too much sometimes.

Ugh.

I spent last night on the phone lying to my friend's overpossesive girlfriend about how much he had drank that evening (out with a group of old friends) to keep him from getting thrown out of the apartment. He had to go home early from one of our rare nights out together to deal with it.

I looked at pictures taken of me a year ago and I think I looked so much younger then. I'm only 26 and the grey hairs have already started to arrive. My girlfriend jokes that she's given them to me.

Har, har.

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www.bitter.com

still riding on the rollercoaster that is his relationship.

I find it truly unbelievable. My girlfriend was arriving home tonite after a week with her family so I spent the evening cleaning up the apartment, made her a welcome home card and picked up a heaping helping of sushi (i love the way that sounds) for dinner and before she even makes it upstairs, she screaming at me from the downstairs intercom about something or other. So then I think, "wow, i'll let her scream and then when she gets upstairs and sees all the stuff i've done for her return she'll feel bad and calm down so we can have a nice night. Well, suffice it to say, that didn't happen.

I got yelled at for the rain outside and the fact that I didn't surprise her and pick her up in the airport and the fact she overpacked her suitcase so it was too heavy for her and a million other little things.

This may sound horrible but I think my girlfriend needs to see a therapist or something. We've talked about and she's said that she's wanted to but then sort of puts off going about it. But she's so type A and stressed out all the time that one day she may just spontaneously combust. It seems to me she, for lack of a more eloquent way of putting it, needs to get her shit together a little bit. With or without me I think she would very rarely be a 'happy' person and as much as I care about her it gets to be too much sometimes.

Ugh.

I spent last night on the phone lying to my friend's overpossesive girlfriend about how much he had drank that evening (out with a group of old friends) to keep him from getting thrown out of the apartment. He had to go home early from one of our rare nights out together to deal with it.

I looked at pictures taken of me a year ago and I think I looked so much younger then. I'm only 26 and the grey hairs have already started to arrive. My girlfriend jokes that she's given them to me.

Har, har.

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www.bitter.com

still pissed off but it'll be next week soon enough

That sux Billy. But significant others sometimes don't give a flying rat's hairy butt about what they call "little things" like picking up clothes or getting a meal.

I once prepared FROM SCRATCH a birthday meal for my first, only, and former boyfriend. We had been seeing eachother for about two months. I spent an hour in the kitchen. I set the table. Even brought candles and candlesticks. (It was at his place). I even made a cake, and brought a nice card. What did I get? A Thank you? Gratitude?

No.

"Jesus, Jim, look at the fucking mess in my kitchen. I sure hope you're going to clean it up."

First of all, any good self respectig cook always cleans up after himself. Second of all, that REALLY PISSED me off!!! I still gave him his bootycall, but I knew right then and there it wasn't gonna "work."

I second your UGH.

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yes...time does fly....

picking her mouth up off the floor. Are you shittin' me?

http://members.tripod.com/~RidinBareBack/index.html

reeling from confusion.



didn't go to bed till 5am as I was so pissed off. Then had one of those "I'm staying on my side of the bed, don't come near me" nights. We finally made up this morning, she apologized, all is good, today we're going to see a movie, and then she spills some orange juice on the tablecloth and starts yelling and crying. She then calls off the whole day out saying she's got too much stuff to do. "I've got to scrub all the floors!!".

??

So I calm her down a bit and we're still going to go out but first she's going to check her email. I set her up on the computer and 10 minutes into it she's screaming and on the verge of tears saying, "Why is this always so slow?! It goes faster for you. I don't have time for this!"

Now she's trying to calm herself down having a bath. She can't stop stressing about how she's working every day for the next week starting tomorrow. Just thinking about is ruining her day off today.

I feel like a tired old horse.



And no, for those wondering, this is not a monthly mood swing.

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reeling from confusion.



didn't go to bed till 5am as I was so pissed off. Then had one of those "I'm staying on my side of the bed, don't come near me" nights. We finally made up this morning, she apologized, all is good, today we're going to see a movie, and then she spills some orange juice on the tablecloth and starts yelling and crying. She then calls off the whole day out saying she's got too much stuff to do. "I've got to scrub all the floors!!".

??

So I calm her down a bit and we're still going to go out but first she's going to check her email. I set her up on the computer and 10 minutes into it she's screaming and on the verge of tears saying, "Why is this always so slow?! It goes faster for you. I don't have time for this!"

Now she's trying to calm herself down having a bath. She can't stop stressing about how she's working every day for the next week starting tomorrow. Just thinking about it is ruining her day off today.

I feel like a tired old horse.



And no, for those wondering, this is not a monthly mood swing.

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feeling older.

Older and a day that is....

Billy, your girlfriend sounds like she needs an extended vacation away from work, you, life....she is the proverbial woman on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

Suddenly sulking. Feeling myself slipping back into that pre-campaign rutt of not wanting to do anything.

*sigh*

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billy,

that is not what i was wondering.

wondering what gives?

Billy has double posted TWICE and has yet to be publically spanked.

Id've been tanned by now.

heh

P.S. Feeling mucho better. Was having a "moment" earlier.

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PeeJay-you prevert-ALWAYS talking about spanking........I'll have to spank you for that.........I'm about to go home to the kitty,mommy, & daughter.......Not many people on the boards, today........Except, of course, Mah Free-und-Jimakapajamaboy-I wondered where you went, PJ-I guess that's when you were having your MOMENT-Have fun this evening, and don't do anything I wouldn't do....that may leave you with more things to do than you might imagine....

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Going home.............

surviving.

Mostly.

And lonely now.

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Thinking that Billy's girlfriend sounds like ... me about six months ago. She needs a vacation, a new job, a therapist, a chiropractor, a lot of naps? ... Just don't, dear heart, let yourself be treated like crap. It'll only invite more of the same.

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getting ready to shut down the computer and listening to the sounds of a really horrendous monstrosity, an opera of A Steetcar Named Desire, in the other room. The TV is next.

Glad to hear that someone else didn't like the Streetcar opera.

I do agree with Previn: the play is like an opera. But not that one.

Then again, I don't know shit about opera.

Wiping up Ridin's shit off the Sorabji floor.....

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Laughing uncontrollably.

Danipoo, you are TOO much gerly!!! *smile*

Hey Ridin, I was gonna say something like that yesterday but my strict Catholic upbriging prevented me from doing so. HA! If you believe that I have proof that Clinton didn't commit perjury for you. hehe

And, I need a date for tonight. Well maybe not "need," but I want one.

heh

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Still nauseous from that Streetcar Named Desire crap........

is yelling STELLLLLLLLA?

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Getting sick all over PJ !! Barf !! *g*

Getting sick all over PJ !! Barf !! *g*

having a good day.
It's one of those days
when I'm reminded why I
stick around when it
isn't so go

huh...?

....good.

www.badtyping.com

noting:

golf is time i spend with my dad. i never play without him.

billy, what your girlfriend needs is a new boyfriend. you should help her on her way.

tiger woods is the anti-christ. i have proof.

why is NSF the abbreviation for insufficient funds?

i'm going to drink my liver into submission tonight and then sleep in a flower shop.

noting:

golf is time i spend with my dad. i never play without him.

billy, what your girlfriend needs is a new boyfriend. you should help her on her way.

tiger woods is the anti-christ. i have proof.

why is NSF the abbreviation for insufficient funds?

i'm going to drink my liver into submission tonight and then sleep in a flower shop.

noting:

golf is time i spend with my dad. i never play without him.

billy, what your girlfriend needs is a new boyfriend. you should help her on her way.

tiger woods is the anti-christ. i have proof.

why is NSF the abbreviation for insufficient funds?

i'm going to drink my liver into submission tonight and then sleep in a flower shop.

Debating whether to elope w/Nate & start the year asleep in a bed of petals x3 (which sounds soo yummy!) or go forth in search of merriment for my 1st New Year's Eve out since 1994...

[I know, R.N./I made a vow. But mourning shdn't last any longer than grief. I miss you much/but I no longer grieve you. Or blame myself. Which is definitely a cause for celebration.]

For everyone who has lost a friend to Eternity (& esp. for Mark's friend Keri) -- Happy New Year to those souls for whom Time no longer matters.

Someday
we'll be
together again...





As for me/I plan to Go Out & Enjoy!
I hope you all do the same.

If you hear any noise/it's just me & the boys!

HAPPY
NEW
YEAR,
SORABJIANS!

resolving that in 1999, i will at last become a serious person.

1/1/99, 0:03 AM
Ridin is:

wishing everyone a Happy New Year.

Happy 1999 everyone!

It's a new year - let's make it a good one.

New Years Resolutions:

1. Drink more water, drink less soda.

2. Walk up the stairs at work instead of taking the elevator.

3. Try to be more understanding and tolerant of others (except, of course, Oatmeal Boy).

4. Never mention Oatmeal Boy's name again (I predict this will be the first one to be broken....).



And what might yours be?

mark, please don't.

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This year I resolve to:

eat more chocolate
drive faster
party more
be indecisive
slouch

oh don't worry, it's all for good reason.

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the first thing that happened to me on the first morning of the new year is that the Pathetic Vicodin Hound peed on my foot.

I have consulted the Torah, I Ching, Farmer's Almanac, and Martha Stewart's Living, but have been unable to find any reference to such an event or its meaning.

Therefore I am presuming it to be a very good omen. May you all have dog pee on your foot today, and good fortune all year.