home after a 5 hour drive through the baked central valley of california. unfortunately that wasn't a 5 hour drive through the central valley of california, baked. a subtle difference.

drinking a beer. listening to the new beastie boys album, hello nasty. just saw the video for intergalactic last night. the boys are deposited in (tokyo?) by a giant intergalactic robot/spaceship and go galavanting about (tokyo?) in devoesque uniform while the robot/spaceship battles a cthuloid beastie.

a mosquito bit me on my thumb. i have a pistol. no one is home.

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talking to him.... and i feel the tightness in my stomach.... but i bite my tongue....as i try to hear his breathing over my air conditioner....

it is like sweet torture....cause i know he knows....but we sort of talk around the subject of me having freams about him.... and having to realize i am not his dream girl...

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Http://www.givemeadollar.com

I'm eating oreos.

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http://www.td-sanchez.com

Wondering when in the sam haydes PetRock is gonna dish about his weekend to me. *grin*

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preparing for my parents' arrival in a few hours.

i have two lives; one on each coast. in a few hours, the two lives mix for the first time.

i don't want them here. i don't want this utopia to shatter. i want that life to be behind me.

but hell, i get free dinner out of it.

watch the itchy trigger finger, nate-o.

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wishing she could console chordata, but having just had the same sort of experience, knows that she can't

reeling from the discovery that she has high blood pressure and must act now!

waiting for email from 'them'. guessing if im waiting and 'they' are not sending - there is probably an imbalance. everything seemed to add up a few weeks ago. scientific inference can be a real bitch in the early days.

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Reading about these Florida fires. I was outside yesterday and I kept smelling smoke. Come to find out this morning in the newspaper that over 1000 acres burned here in Pasco County in Moon Lake yesterday.. Moon Lake is approx. 30 minutes from my house. A reported 13,000 lightning strikes per 1/2 hour here in Pasco County. In just the month of June there has been 5 deaths and 13 reported injuries from lightning. Over 300 homes have burned to the ground and over 1/2 million acres of property destroyed all due to these wild fires and lightning. And the fires are still rapidly spreading. It is raining right now in Vulusia (bad spelling) County and the firemen have all layed down on the streets and sidewalks and have gone to sleep. The rain has given them a break, until the rain stops. Very sad. The smell of smoldering fires fill the air today and remind us that you dont know what you have in life till its gone.

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spreading my genitals everywhere.

Pulling up a chair to watch Nate's show.

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setting up camp at the end of the world.

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Wondering how to come up with $12000 in 60 days.

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hurriedly writing... trying to make contact..

i spend my seconds, but time is lost in him.

i have taken to being annon.....as a way of meeting people.

so far i have made a good attempt at hitting on this guy i work with....

but no matter who i meet i am always comparing.

i do not like this....at all..

just realizing that a guy 15 years my senoir....is rad as hell, and has very soft hands....oh my...if only i could date older men...

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Watching sanity fly ever so carelessly from my body.

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wearing this enjoy WEED california shirt.

weed, california is north of the california agricultural outpost but south of the oregon border. several summers ago i drove back and forth across oregon on interstate 97, smuggling washington apples into california.

I'd pick up a loaded truck in northern oregon and drive south to this barn just outside weed. a man in the barn would hand me an envelope, which i would walk to a house in weed and hand to a woman. she in turn would hand me $200 cash. i would then walk back to the barn and drive the empty truck back to northern oregon.

i used to eat every day, twice a day, in bend, oregon. i forget the name of the place, began with an "S". Shirley's or something. Like a denny's, only, well, only nothing. it was a denny's with different furniture.

i ate a lot of chicken fried steak and eggs. it makes your shit float, if you know what i mean. i got to know the waitresses by name. all nice older women with southern sounding names. they'd call me things like "sweetie" and "honeypie".

sometimes they'd bring me a salad with french dressing instead of ranch. "Ranch? Oh sorry, sweetie, i thought you said -Fraanch-"

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Apple smuggling huh?

Sounds a little "seed"y to me.

heh

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Listening to Miles Davis "Cookin'". I've had enough wine with dinner to get me through.

Wondering... Just wondering...

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unclean. testies gone green.

put a comfy brown chair in my room. specially aligned by the window so that i can sit with a rifle and pick off things in the backyard. try doing that in new york city.

lucky lager goes well with sittin' 'round and shootin' shit.

time for the three S's. well, maybe i won't shave today.

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telling nate that folks in certain parts of crooklyn and the boogie down bronx do that shit on a regular basis...

of course if you try it in manhattan you're more likely than not to end up doing 3-5 on Riker's...

but depending on your ethnicity and the traffic volume in the city courts, you might get off with probation and a slap on the wrist...

not bad for the island at the end of the world.

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sniffling and snuffling

i m i s s y o u

checking out this picture of a bunch of naked people sprawled all over a sidewalk in the lower east side. apparently they do this a couple times every summer. about 100 folks get together, get naked, and pose for a photograph. the other month it was on the brooklyn bridge, some other time on the williamsburg bridge, and now in the midst of the lower east side. i think i'll find out when the next nude pose is. they need more color in that spread.

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Wondering why Blindswine did not provide a link for that pic. GRRRR.

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Killing the last two hours of work before I leave for the weekend, screwing with the system registry on my PC here.

Beating myself up for feeling lonely again, because it was, after all, MY decision. Both of them were.

Trying to figure out how to actually RUN a compiled COBOL program in MPE/ix...

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http://www.velvet.net/~starchy

wondering why I keep beating myself up over a damn bisexual dude.

Ok, Clint, buddy... we're gonna need to know just a LITTLE bit more information before we can ascertain the problem.

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Sharing my knowledge with you all. Last night, before I went to bed, I decided to test something I had read about somewhere - a makeshift roach trap. I picked up an empty Coke bottle, scooped out a glob of peanut butter from the jar and stuffed it through the bottleneck until it fell to the bottom. Peanut butter is the best bait for any kind vermin trap. There was a little bit of residue in the neck, so I smeared it around with my finger so the scent would still be there but it wouldn't be much of a meal. I placed it upright on the floor in the pantry.

When I checked it the next morning there were 7 small to medium-sized roaches at the bottom of the bottle. I put the bottle in the microwave and finished them off. I think tonight I'm going to experiment with a wider-mouthed bottle.

I'll keep you posted.

Thinking Your Helpful -Hints guy should patent that invention and call it his very own..simply brilliant I must say..

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here in hawaii the cockroaches can withstand up to 5 minutes of microwaving. they simply walk out with a nice suntan, give you a wink, and keep on truckin'.

fact: a cockroach can live up to four days without a head. it dies NOT because it doesn't have a head but rather due to dehydration because it can't drink.

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thinking that all that roach information this early in the morning is a little much for me. I started out by day by washing my truck and settling in for a cup of coffee and a smoke...thinking I'm going to read something inspiring or otherwise. Guess I'll have to settle for the otherwise. I have to say I've been blessed in the cockroach department. I've only encountered one roach in my lifetime; which happened to be crawling up the wall next to a g'f. Thank god we were moving out the next day

http://www.geocities.com/WestHollywood/Village/3124

Sorry if I caused any gross-outs, but I'm the one who woke up to a bottle full of roaches. I'm almost pitied the little guys - they were like criminals crammed into a tiny cell.

Nevertheless, they deserved to die. They died after 30 seconds of microwaving, if you want to know.

Last night I tried the trap with a Mason jar. It basically looks Like a larger version of a sphaghetti-sauce jar. it was easier to the peanut-butter in. I smeared the rim with the p.b., just like the night before. Just before I turned in I caught sight of a roach hiding out, waiting for me to leave. He was in a light-bulb package (you know, one of those rectangular tubes they come in); he was trying to hide behind the bulb part of the light, but I could see his antennae sticking out and waving around like grass in the wind. It was comical, like seeing a child hide himself in plain sight.

Later on I went back into the kitchen to get a glass of water. The roach was circling around the rim of the mason jar. At first I was a little nervous, he looked like he might go down to the bottom, and I came close to knocking him down. But I held back and, eventually, down he went. I left him there and went to bed. The next morning there were two more roaches in the jar - one half the first roache's size and the other a third. they looked like a little family.

I still haven't nuked them. they're fascinating to watch. They seem to have different personalities - obnoxious, clever, depressive. I have a theory about the state of roach society in the various states of home infestation. I'm still in stage one where the roaches are still strangers and wanderers in my house, and the lack a certain organization and a sense of collective strategy. They seem a little dumb.

Lastly, I've noticed that this also works with dishwasher soap crystals, preferably lemon-scented. I found a bunch of roachs at the bottom of an opened jar of dishwasher soap in the cabinet under my sink. They looked like dying legionaires on white sands.

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returning after 3 days offline.

The other night, I spilled bong water on my laptop keyboard in a completely stoner move. Nothing worked.. he keyboard and mouse were entitely dead. I got the best technical support from Gateway ever: on my 3AM call, Carl told me not to bother sending it in for service. Just mount a hair dryer a few feet up, turn it on low, and leave it there for a few days.

I'm back. Hope you are well.

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I know what I'll tell you, I've never told this to anyone before. Ha, I can't believe I'm telling you this. When I was twlve, my Aunt Claire took it upon herself to inform me of the facts of life. I don't know why but she began by telling me about her heart murmur. For some reason I mixed it all up and for the longest time I thought that an orgasm was something that happened in your heart. Isn't that a remarkable idea? Isn't it? Can you imagine how confused I was later on? There, now you know something about me that no one else knows. Don't you think it's actually quite poetic? An involuntary stirring of the heart? So. Well. Is there any more Coca-cola left? My throat's gone dry.

thinking about the love of my life, who is no longer the woman in my life, and who got drunk the other night and had sex with another woman.

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being antisocial listening to an English Beat CD sipping a Lynchburg Lemonade from my favorite plastic glass with Taz on it noticing how still the night air is and trying not to think about how my life is speeding up after almost a year of underwater-slowness not that speeding up is bad you understand, and so on and so forth

http://www.geocities.com/timessquare/maze/6390/living_room.html

thinking about underwear slowness.

feeling it, now.

hell.

i need to be naked.

moc.ijboros@etan

Leaving to go pick up Mommy Dearest at Tampa Airport. She'll be here for 17 days. Then I also have to spend most of the day at Tampa Airport this Thursday to pick up all my internet friends for my Birthday bash. I think I would rather be leaving right now to go pick up Charles Manson instead of Mommy Dearest....Thank God for Vodka....

blinking

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I learned two things last night.

1)Never put a Miller Genuine Draft bottle in the microwave, unless you want to see something really cool. Those labels are reflective, and when the microwaves bounce off them, it's like lightning around the edges. I turned the oven off and it stopped; there was a bad smell, but no harm done.

2) If ever you should want to bait an MGD bottle for roach-trapping, try dredging your peanut butter glob in flour so it will slide down the neck of the bottle without sticking. Once it's down there, I like to stir it around with a piece of coat hanger wire.

I swear to you, this is the last time I'll write about this.

Happy hunting.

pissed.

could you please stop killing things?

thanks.

Thinking Hints from hell is hysterical!!!!

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listening to some pissed off brazilian soccer fans outside my apartment.

they're spouting shit about how the haitians won this world cup.

wondering if all that racist talk about this not being a real france team will be taken back or even acknowledged.

loving to see a stadium full of unbelievably happy people.

listening to the drumbeat from outside. and listening to those brazil fans beating their Ludwig brand drumsticks against the windshields and hoods of whichever parked vehicles are nearest at hand.

listening to the car alarms wail into the afternoon air.

congrats, christop, if you follow this stuff. a masterful defensive game.

7/12/98, 5:22 PM
Antigone is:

I'm about to hit the road again: Minnesota this time. Taking the 'ole spine of America, I-35, from Dallas to the Twin Titties. I don't know how many times I took this trip during my college years. I just hope the burritos are still real greasy at that truck stop in Kansas City.

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Relaxing after a day at Dupont Circle with a friend. We sat in the park and oggled men, walked around the neighborhood, sat some more in the park. Relaxing day. Gorgeous weather too.

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In need of a hug. Nothing is wrong. Just could really use a hug.

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Sending my biggest-tightest-warmest-loving hug to Jimbabe.and I even have my head resting on your shoulder and lookin' up at your puppy dog eyes..feel better now?

*grin* yeah Dani... but it's weird, can't explain it. Just in a mood.

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