YIPEE! First post of the morning! Actually, not all that excited. I feel like i'm hung over...is it possible even if you didn't drink the night before? I need to start going to bed earlier. My g'f is out of town for the week...this always happens. She leaves, I forget to sleep. I guess I'm waiting for her to walk through that door. I can expect another five pound weight loss by the end of the week. BABY COME BACK......I'M STARVING. *giving Jim a hug* I could use one, too. Have a great morning everyone.

http://www.geocities.com/WestHollywood/Village/3124

To my Jainist friend Nate I must confess: I will kill again. Though I seem to be running out of roaches, which actually disappoints me. Here's a helpful hint I learned from an old guy this weekend. With ahimsa.

The man's name is George, he's the owner of the transmission shop I go to. "Did I ever tell you about the time my neighbor poisoned my dog? That chow of mine I keep in the back? He's this weasel of a bastard who lives back of my house. Lives there alone skulkin' around. Started slippin' bowls to my dog laced with poison. Saved it the first time with an antidote my Papa taught me. Second time had to put it up with the vet for 3 months. Vet said a third would kill him, the dog was so weak from the first two. I told that fucker next door if he did that to my dog again, I'd shoot him."

When a 68 year-old transmission shop owner in Texas says that, it's not an idle threat.

Here is George's antidote for a poisoned dog:

"One egg yolk, this much [indicates about two inches with his fingers] honey, the rest cream. Mix it up in an oil can with a long spout. Cram it down the dog's throat"

Hugs.

trying to shake the weekend from my head...

still clouded from the senseless abuse i inflict on my body... still grinning stupidly because of how damned fun it all was...

now it's monday.

for the first time in months i've been forced to wear a suit into the office. clients must be met and schmoozed to, sales automation must be talked-up as the new paradigm.

all the while this tie keeps restricting the blood and oxygen from my already nutrient-starved head...

vibes tell me it's gonna be an interesting monday.

7/13/98, 12:04 PM
Jim aka PajamaBoy is:

Passing on some info from R.C. Her hard drive gets out of the shop this Friday but she will not have phone access for another month or so. She says hi to all.

[email protected]

fainting at the hints guy and wishing he could come round to my house. i have roaches "but this is england!" i shrieked. "Yeah well," replied the bug lady from the council, " your street is infected big time. We can put down some green stuff to kill 'em" " But who takes the bodies away?" "Well, you do."

shriek shriek shriek

i have a thing about all insects, flying, scuttling or sliming. i simply cannot deal with it. when the roaches started appearing in my house my neighbours started asking whether everything was alright. i found one in the bread one morning and had to phone a friend in tears before i could get to work. i hear them scuttling in the gaps between the walls. my friends come and plug up the holes in the walls and hug me and tell me they won't go in my ears to lay eggs....

i'm sure i've posted about this before...which can only mean i really am too scared to do anything about it. i'm convinced there's a three foot long mother roach in my attic planning my destruction.

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I was sitting at my desk eating homemade chili stored in a Sour Cream jar. I started looking at the beans in the chili and thinking about roaches. Why am I at work today, anyway??? No matter, I will just eat my chili and smile and pray that I never spill bong water on my computer. That must have been awful.

http://www.fortunecity.com/marina/seafarer/115

Now I am enjoying a homemade brownie. That in a way took my mind off the roaches. Then, I started thinking about weed and brownies. Then, I started thinking about roaches all over again. I like roaches. They are a pain sometimes, but when you have nothing else, a roach is perfect. I would enjoy a roach right now, as a matter of fact. Unfortunately some TV show is having an expose about drug use in the work place, and that would kinda make me paranoid. So, I'll just go back to my brownie.

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shaking my head.

We've had enough animal killing comments. Thank you.

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back from women's studies.

today we learned that women, on average, get 73 cents to the man's dollar for their jobs. that is, white women to white men.

the prof. asked for jobs where men and women actually get paid equally. i brought up porn stars, where women actually get paid more than men.

apparently, porn is part of the white man's plan for oppression. she likened it to rape.

still tasting the grass. i just took a huge nap on the park.

just like 1992.

i slept outside the boathouse, and outside the grassy grass. rubbed my face in the grassy grass.

no one paid any attention to me. so it was just another day.

the sun is disappearing off the universe. i need more hot dogs. more mustard.

taking my shoes off at the place of work. looking back at the Sheraton sign. Listening to the sounds of a bar somewhere in Florida and feeling like a real man.

everyone in florida has such a hacking, angry laugh, according to this particular tape.

i'm going home.

7/13/98, 10:02 PM
icedoll is:

Helloooo... long time no see. how are you doing? Is everything o.k there? I am taking a break now. very good. I like bedcam-layout. huhu.

playing Prokofiev's 3rd sonata with my left hand as I type this.

slicker than goose shit.

no offense, Sheila.

some of us aren't lucky enough to have a chart pinpointing ova.

megatitty.

self-perpetuating seminiferous tubules.

i took a piss. there was a dead fish floating in the toilet.

"SWIM MOTHERFUCKER! SWIM YOU LITTLE BITCH! SWIM!"

Feeling really happy for 2 friends of mine..they met online about a year ago, maybe a little more and they just had a brand new baby together a few hours ago..a little girl...they named her Brianna..Sand and Barbie..a couple that actually made it...I wish them only the best in everything they do.

Feeling all fucked in the head tonight..I tried so hard to be his everything. I did everything I could to be all he wanted and needed in a woman. But I failed. I just wasnt good enough. I guess I wasnt pretty enough..I just didnt have what it takes. God how I tried though. I gave it my all....my everything. If I failed to be a good wife, how did I expect to be a good lover? But dammit, I did give it my all.

enjoying the morning sun and breeze coming in through my window. it is quiet here for the first time in days, and soon the horns, music, singing and fireworks will start again.

happy bastille day, everyone.

[email protected]
http://christop.com

Honing my chop-sockie skills with a teleporter in my bathtub. Those second-hand antique gladiators from 192 A.D. won't put a stop to me THIS time! I've got a muzzle loaded with RAID, OFF, and BLACK FLAG. They shan't be spared, no, not one.

[email protected]
http://www.spew.com

Tremolo dungeons pulsating in my ears, this is most likely the end of life as I know it...for the evening, anyways. But I'm sure I'll dream of quiet things this evening fair.

I'm a late bloomer, so I'm just now feeling the twitterpation of springtime.

Growrrrr!

[email protected]
http://www.spew.com/

reading cv's

wondering where that flip flop in the stomach goes after a while of love

still massaging my ear after yesterday. My company sent out 400 some odd contracts yesterday for custodial parents who weren't getting their child support. Is that fucked or what? Company aired a commercial on Lifetime yesterday..not expecting so much return. HA! Guess they got more than they bargained for. In this case, it's a good thing. Just wondering if today is going to be more of the same. Still have 6 pages of emails to answer from Sunday and even more return messages. Hold on WIP...I'll get to you eventually. *insert panic here* Hey...not WHIP, WIP (work in progress). Good luck to you all today in whatever it is you do....

http://www.geocities.com/WestHollywood/Village/3124

WIP??? WIP sucks. I did that yesterday. Today I am doing inventory. Later I am doing Northbound. Afterwards, sewing actuals. I understand, Jori. It does feel like WHIP. It is raining here today. Some fucker called my house at 6:00am. Then, I went to work in the rain. I was late. I almost wrecked my car. My hair is fucked up today. I have a lot of work to do. No new email today. That always depresses me. I love the rain, but today it isn't helping. Today, for the first time in a while, I went to Stick Figure Death Theatre. That helped a little. It is so funny to watch that little man die.

http://www.fortunecity.com/marina/seafarer/115

At my desk, eating fried chicken. I was ordering the chicken, and the manager of the store told me that he didn't have any legs. He seemed rather tall for someone who has no legs. It made me sad. That has happened twice, now. I must say, I am rather happy to see that fried chicken places hire the disabled. I hope someone has the same compassion for me if I someday have no legs.

http://listen.to/ryan

Surfing the net and having a lot more respect for the average pay phone! I live in Rockaway Park, a block from the beach which I never go to, and there's a pay phone outside my building. I will try to get the number and post it to your site. Darling site, really, and creative. What you need is an air conditioner, not a fan. If I ever get a new air conditioner, I'll sell you mine cheap! Can't tell if your bed cam is working. I see a ghost-like figure that doesn't move. Keep cool! Hey! How do you send this thing??? (Never mind. I see the "Say It" button!)

[email protected]

last night i was sitting at my desk digging through some old photos. reminscing, i stopped momentarily to stare out my window which overlooks the city lights and diamond head crater.

that's when i saw a slight movement out of the corner of my eye. i peered closer to the window sill to discover another cricket trying to sneak into my room.

quickly i ran to the kitchen to get a cup. i ran back and he was still there, warming up his chirpers. using a wooden backscratcher that they give you in those fancy 'tropical itch' drinks that cost $5.50 at the resorts in waikiki, i nudged the small, black cricket into the cup.

there was little resistence.

then i got in my car and drove about eight blocks from my house to the community gardens, where i liberated him into a patch of tomatoes.

i slept well.

[email protected]

trying to manipulate, connive, or lie my way out of here early so i can go up to sam ash and check out the keyboard i want to hook up to the AKAI MPC 2000... my yahama should be in the mail and on it's way towards me as i write this... i have this powerful urge to walk into Sam Ash and just sign over a stack of credit cards, taking on massive debt in order to satisfy my need for more gear... it's been eight months since i've had a keyboard at arm's reach. now that baby's on her way home, i'm itching to go out and buy her some company. things are going to be good. wth both keyboards connected to the midi production center, w/ mixer and sampler sequenced with the powermac, and the fact i live over a beer store... chances are i'll never leave the house.

bring on the love.

7/14/98, 7:19 PM
kymical is:

playing a little cat and mouse. i am coming clean!!

i have a stone of appitite in my pocket. the man who gave it to me said "what you ask for, it will give." and i have gotten.

and the walls i thought existed are tumbling down... maybe i am over qualified!

big city here i come!!

or maybe i will just sit in my domicile and enjoy the a/c.

[email protected]

bored out of his mind. none of his buds are online. nothing on tv. even the cat isn't around. DAMN!

[email protected]

loving my glorious sorabji.com email address, which proves again and again to be a source of joy and fame and power.

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[email protected]

[email protected]

my records are now being processed.

[email protected]

somewhere between here and here minus now.

i have this gut feeling that i've drank too much coke. today i successfully skipped comparative economics for the 8th time in a row. i made it to the first meeting. the exam in thursday.

tonight i get to read six chapters. i've already read one.

my one and only arrives at 4:15 tomorrow afternoon. i have reserved a room at a spa-resort with a private balcony con jacuzzi. this has great potential. tomorrow marks 4 years. 4 years.

i will return from the spa-resort thursday in time for women's studies class. after that, 1 hour and then my comparative economics exam.

luckily, i changed the class from credit/no credit to normal grading. today was the last day to do so. now i can get a D- and still graduate, instead of needing a C- or better.

gives me more room to stretch my wings. i'm such a slacker.

viva college.

[email protected]

disappointed.

I drove to San Fran with friends to climb the Oakland/SF Bay Bridge. It's a ladder straight up for 3 hours leading to a platform beside an airplane warning light. We got there and the bridge leading to the ladder from the shore had been demolished.

Sam, my love interest, was the driver. He decided to drop me off at home after that so he could go visit the new girl he's dating. He really digs her and is happy to have a female friend like me with whom to discuss it.

Disappointment is nothing new. Some days it just feels shittier than others.

But I am drinking excellent limeade and enjoying a cool Berkeley night.

God, don't let me fuck everything up.

[email protected]

I got this email from my friend today. I am going to try to post a link in a message board, but I don't know if it will be successful. I just learned the principle idea yesterday. Ok, here I go. < ahref="http://www.fortunecity.com/marina/seafarer/115/sorabji.txt">

Hmm... Wonder if that worked. There is only one way to find out. Anyway, this email is from my best friend. She decided to tell me the other day that she had fallen in love with me. This is what she had to say about it. It depresses me. I don't want it to happen. Well, if you get the time, drop in there and read it. See if there is anything I can do to prevent this friendship from ending. The link is again at the bottom of the page, in case it didn't post here. If you read it, and have a grand suggestion, please email me, because this whole situation puts me in kindofa bind, you know???

[email protected]
http://www.fortunecity.com/marina/seafarer/115/sorabji.txt

I got this email from my friend today. I am going to try to post a link in a message board, but I don't know if it will be successful. I just learned the principle idea yesterday. Ok, here I go. < ahref="http://www.fortunecity.com/marina/seafarer/115/sorabji.txt">

Hmm... Wonder if that worked. There is only one way to find out. Anyway, this email is from my best friend. She decided to tell me the other day that she had fallen in love with me. This is what she had to say about it. It depresses me. I don't want it to happen. Well, if you get the time, drop in there and read it. See if there is anything I can do to prevent this friendship from ending. The link is again at the bottom of the page, in case it didn't post here. If you read it, and have a grand suggestion, please email me, because this whole situation puts me in kindofa bind, you know???

[email protected]
http://www.fortunecity.com/marina/seafarer/115/sorabji.txt

I really don't know how that posted twice. The link is not even what I typed in. Oh, bother. Anyway, check it out, please.

[email protected]
http://www.fortunecity.com/marina/seafarer/115/sorabji.txt

disappointed. And feeling slightly ill. Take 1 giant step forwards but 3 tiny steps back....

Now I have to show for myself: 1) Chipped tooth 2) Sore muscles all over 3) A feeling of general embarassment over having seized in front of a bunch of strangers and not remembering any of it.... 4) I get to go back on the phenobarb, whose list of side effects are as follows: "dizziness, drowsiness, lightheadedness, clumsiness (???), or excessive daytime drowsiness (Just the thing to make one successful in the business world) 5) Oh yeah, and a cut up polo shirt and a still (somewhat) new t-shirt.

Damn!

Just got an email. Have a gig Saturday in the Lost River Cave Big Band. That is good for me. I feel better now.

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http://listen.to/ryan

welcoming PetRock back and wishing him a relatively painless diagnosis

Ryan. Samantha needs a hug. Don't stop being her friend.

PetRock. That totally sucks. Glad you're home and semi-ok.

: )

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I'm sitting here like a saddo looking at some strangers bed...why? what are you doing?

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http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Gallery/6742

i'm hiding. i feel like it. i feel like climbing into a cardboard box, like when i was 6, and hanging out there.

reading this email i just here at the office:

"It's a shame that I am compelled to send this memorandum, but it's the only way to get attention to this serious matter. And, hopefully put a stop to such disgusting behavior.

There have been recent incidents of blood being apparently intentionally smeared on the wall in the first stall of the women's 4th floor toilet. The blood appears to be that from a soiled sanitary napkin pressed against the wall.

Aside from the fact that my custodian is forced to clean up a mess that is outside the scope of normal janitorial duties, this presents an unsanitary and health risk condition.

There is no way to monitor the use of a toilet, so I leave it to each of you to contemplate and hopefully bring forth the problem that has resulted in this repulsive behavior. This problem must not go unattended.

Other toilet concerns that are primarily related to the 4th floor women's bathroom: - Sanitary napkin disposal bags are being taken (by the dozens)from the stalls. - Toilet paper (lots of it) is being used to wrap the Sanitary napkin and the disposal bags not being used. - Napkins disposed of in the large rubbish can outside of the stall. - The small sanitary napkin rubbish can inside the stall is being used to dispose of items other than napkins.

The Facility Maintenance Team strives to provide a comfortable and clean workplace that we can be proud of. Please do your part. It's your facility."

one for the WHAT THE FUCK category, don't ya think?

[email protected]

Being held at bay by scruples.

Damn those scruples! Damn them to HELL!

I want to be Chuck Heston at the end of the first Planet of the Apes movie, pounding fists into the foamy surf, screaming at the top of my lungs, "You MANIACS! You finally did it! You blew it all up! Damn you! DAMN YOU TO HELL!"

I think it would be most therapeutic.

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http://www.spew.com/

sitting here as tired as hell, I am. I was reading e.e. cumming's "anyone who lived in a pretty how town" earlier and writing an e.e. like poem also. when I get older, I'm changing my name to s.s. skinner. pitiful parents who liked the letter S.

sweating because of the heat in my house, I am. if I was asleep, I'd be dreaming of him. but I'm awake, and wanting to sleep. for a fifteen year old at midnight, I'm pretty pitiful.

waiting for this guy who wants my virtual body to get offline, I am. waiting for life to stop.

wishing you were here, like a bad postcard.

... wondering one last time how to get my grandparents off of my back.

[email protected]
http://indosentris.net/geliebten

At Danis house! I couldnt get Dani to do video conferance for nothing last night ! today she's totally addicted!! I wont even mention the things she's done on camera with people!!! We are all taking Dani to Bush Gardens this weekend for her birthday. My Danigirl turns 29. the old bag! She has never allowed me to even know about this page and now she's letting me leave a message but I dont know what to really say. Well, I can think of a few choice words but I think I'll save them. I can say Hi to my friend Ridin! And Dani says hi to her friend Jimbabe! Guess thats it!