Living today as if there were no tomorrow.

Tomorrow, . . . .uh

not finding much to say lately. I am so tired of the whole annie-mike-christopher thing.....

Where is your hat? oh melty beast.

not feeling well and not knowing why

"How 'bout dem Saints?"

not wanting to get left behind in the lame joke dept (it looks good on the ol resume: Posted lame jokes on worldwide web bulletin board for all to read). So here we go:

FRANK AND THE BEARS

Frank was excited about his new rifle. So, he went bear hunting. He
spotted a small brown bear and shot it. There was then a tap on his
shoulder, and he turned around to see a big black bear.

The black bear said: "You've got two choices, either I maul you to
death or we have rough sex." Frank decided to agree, even though he could
hardly sit for two weeks after. Frank soon recovered and vowed revenge. He
headed out on another trip where he found the black bear and shot it.

There was another tap on his shoulder.

This time a huge grizzly bear stood right next to him. The grizzly said:
"That was a huge mistake, Frank. You've got two choices. Either I
maul you to death or we have REALLY rough sex."

Again, Frank thought it was better to comply. Although he survived, it would
take several months before Frank finally recovered.

Outraged, he headed back to the woods, managed to track down the grizzly
and shot it. He felt sweet revenge, but then there was a tap on his
shoulder.

He turned around to find a giant polar bear standing there. The polar bear
said: "Admit it, Frank, you don't come here for the hunting, do you?

[email protected]

Ok, y'all probably have heard this one, but here goes:

2 guys are drinking at the bar at the top of the World Trade Center. One of them says to the other, "I betcha I can jump out that window, fall almost to the ground, then swoop back up here. If I do it, you've got to too." So the other guy says, "Ok, go ahead." So the first guy leaps out the window, falls hundreds of feet, and then swoops back up, doing a perfect landing on the window ledge, walks back and sits down at the bar and proceeds with his drink. "Wow, how did you do that?" "It's easy, the air currents between the 2 towers create an updraft which bring you right back up. Now it's your turn." So the 2nd guy jumps out the window to a horrible death. The dull "splat" sound resonates all the way up to the bar. The bartender walks over to the window, looks down at the mess, shakes his head, then looks over to the first guy and says, "Superman, you're a real shit when you're drunk!"

a man sees a friend of his at a bar and says, "hey, i see you got back from your vacation. how was it?"

the man says, "well, me and my brother bill went to paris. climbed all the way up the eiffel tower. beautiful view from up there."

"what'd your brother think of it?"

"oh, he couldn't do it. he's a cripple, ya know. so then we went to italy. climbed up the leaning tower of pisa. beautiful, beautiful view."

"what'd your brother think of it?"

"he couldn't make the climb. he's a cripple, ya know. so then we went to the vatican. we got to see the pope! he walked right up to bill and touched him on the left shoulder and his crutch flew away. then he touched him on his right shoulder and his other crutch flew away."

"my god! he could walk?"

"nope, dropped straight down and busted his ass. he's a cripple, ya know."

Q: What's the worst thing about having sex with an 8 year old?

A: Having to wash the blood stains out of your clown costume.

I can top that.

What's the worst thing about gong down on a baby?

Diaper rash.

waiting for my brother.

My brother's coming! My brother's coming!

He should be here at 5, and then we're going out to eat, and then tomorrow we're going to the zoo to see the golden lion tamarinds. Aw, yeah!

This guy stands up at a bar and very loudly"All lawyers are assholes".Another man stands up and says"I really resent that".The first guy says"Why are you a lawyer"?The other man says"No I'm an asshole".

blessed by a Llama
;)

which one?

KhenRinpoche
(i guess at the spelling)
He gave me beads and told me to come back tomorrow, which is today, but i know he has too many engagements already and i won't be selfish with his time. I'm infinitely lucky just to have seen him at all.

shall i make a thread for this....?

laffing is fat ass off.

[email protected]

laffing HIS fat ass off.

[email protected]

What did the bartended say to the horse?

"Why the long face?"

What did the bartender say to the Corned Beef Sandwich?

"I'm sorry, we don't serve sandwiches."

[email protected]

Oh, you mean a Lama, not a Llama. I thought you meant a small furry camel, not a small furry guru.

small furry camel laugh!

yamaha!

aw fuck.
i didn't know there was a difference in the spelling. I should have.
hahahahahahaa

thinking of walking across the brooklyn bridge.

I like sex.

ok then. look out NOLA.

I like watching sex almost as much as I do participating.

[email protected]

Laughing at Jimbabe!!!!!

[email protected]

Laughing at Jimbabe!!!!!

[email protected]

Well it's official. Jimbabe and I are gonna be bunkies. We'll have a great time and have tons of fun...I promise!
Look forward to meeting you, my friend.

[email protected]

seconding Dani's sentiments.

[email protected]

chewing gum that has a piece of my fingernail in it.

you know what's good?
chew some minty gum and take a small bite of an oreo cookie.

one time i was dipping an oreo into a glass of milk, and i accidently dropped it in. instead of digging it out i decided to finish the rest of my oreos, drink out all of the milk, and catch the dropped one on its way out.

when the oreo came out, i noticed that it had hit the side of the so that there was a perfect smiley face of oreo left on the side.

fuck me for not taking a picture.

mmmmmmmmmm...oreos

note to self: safeway. 1900 hours. be there or be L7

L7 rocks.

isn't that a euphy for concurrent oral sex? like 69?

you know what's disgusting?

gum.

Watching the clock slowly pass my life away, as I await good things...

Fuck Time, it moves to slow.

[email protected]

i'm going home to make some spaghetti.

if i weren't such a poor bastard i'd buy some oreos at the scary grocery around the corner. i can't even afford the generic brand.

agatha, do not get me
started on gum. I have
had to leave a theater
because someone in
the audience, or
someone in the film,
was chewing gum. I
fired someone for
chewing gum. Of
course, I made up a
better reason, but that
was the truth. Just
thinking about gum
makes me cringe.

i don't know, i might hate gum more than you.

i probably wouldn't fire someone for chewing gum, though. that would just be mean.

Of course it is mean.

What if it's that new dental hygiene gum? You gonna fire someone for taking caring of their teeth? Huh? Are you?

I chew gum at work all the time. I break each stick into three little pieces and chew about 4 little pieces a day.

I throw it out before I talk on the phone, though. That's nasty.

I hate listening to people chew gum or food on the phone.

L7 means square.

hating an empty inbox. I used to get a lot fo email from friends, but I haven't gotten anything for a week. Geez. I'm such a whiner.

better a whiner than a lhoser.

L7 means oral sex.

hearing people chew gum makes me homicidal.

wondering about people chewing cum while performing oral sex, and if this would also make Nate homicidal?

if so, I think it merits inclusion on the many NOLA threads in the message boards as a warning device to the many who may find themselves in such a situation while in the House of the Rising Sun.

[email protected]

Thank you, Mark Thomas.


I must ask, if I may, if you have not known your parents all your life?

Nate, read this:

http://www.plastic.com/altculture/01/04/30/2038239.shtml

Counting the hours til Cape Cod, baby. T minus 40 hours and counting.

hey
and it will only be like 120 degrees

have fun



i have a fever, damnit

nothing.

should be scrambling to clean the house before my parents get home from camping.

email email i want email to delay the cleaning.


(tag you're it)